I have. It was one of the most humbling, educational and teachable moments of my career. It taught me to be a more effective communicator, to truly understand the impact leaders and managers have on an employee’s life and well-being, and how to fire someone the right way.
Hiring and firing comes with the territory of just about any management or leadership position. The axiom you’ve heard to “hire slowly and fire quickly” is true, but you might also want to remember to “hire slowly and fire with heart.” Fortunately and unfortunately, I have hired and fired lots of people in my 22+ years of leadership in health care; but it wasn’t until I was fired that I truly understood the pain, uncertainty and life crushing reality on the receiving end.
Here is what I learned and maybe my lessons can help you do one of the most difficult tasks of a leader more effectively:
Do it with heart. Be gentle, be kind and treat the employee with respect and dignity. Imagine yourself in their chair. Even when they deserve it, you need to remember that person across the table from you has a mortgage to pay, kids to feed and bills piling up. Taking your last shot should be reserved for the bar, not the boardroom. You accomplish nothing by trampling the ego of your soon to be departed employee. This is the most important lesson I learned when I was fired.
Do it quickly. Building your case so the person understands why they are being fired falls on deaf ears. Having been on the receiving end, I heard nothing after the “let’s talk about your job here.” Nothing. You have to choose your few words carefully, but get the point across clearly. I used to find myself compelled to have the other person understand it was their fault, I was right and they were wrong… and the meeting went on forever and they heard nothing. A simple, “John, I have had to make a difficult decision. Friday will be your last day of employment.” Then give “John” the most important reason why, explain how the process works and end the meeting. Give them a letter with details (see your HR folks first). It is more heart full than heartless to use fewer words. For their sake, don’t do it over lunch and don’t kick them when they’re down.
Do it calmly. Stay in control even when they are not. Don’t escalate the tension by raising your voice to match theirs. Trust me, this is more than “this isn’t personal, it’s business.” Getting canned is personal and about as personal as you can get. Do your best to de-escalate the tension and remember the first two lessons.
Getting terminated made me a better leader and now, a much better coach…once I was able to get past the anger and grief stage and put myself into the self-reflection mode.