“There are those in the world who take and those that give. Givers can never understand the selfish, self- centered, “it’s all about me” way of the takers. Their tactics frustrate us, amaze us and sometimes we may even think they are better or more effective. We should never fall into their trap, for when we do, we lose our self respect.”
You know the characteristics of the Giver. Selfless. Thoughtful. Empathetic. Healing. They produce a positive energy and generously share it with others. They see their personal mission to make the world a better place.
You know the characteristics of the Taker. Selfish. Negative. Wounding. They suck the life out of you for their own self-centered cause. They see their personal mission to make their world a better place.
Which are you? Perhaps more importantly, which do you want to be?
One of my coaching clients was becoming frustrated with a colleague who agreed to assist her in a huge new endeavor she was undertaking. This new program took expertise and skills she simply did not have, so she smartly sought the help of others. She did everything right. She painted the picture of the desired outcome – the vision. She enlisted her team mates early in the process, to get their buy-in and excitement. She checked in with them regularly to make sure they were on target and on-time. If done well, this program could change the lives of a dozen people who need the encouragement, empathy and healing so desperately needed to pull their hopes back together. She gave all of her time and talents to make the world a better place.
Enter the Taker; initially he was excited to be a part of something bigger than himself. He bought into the vision. But when his expertise and teamwork was required, he sought his own agenda. He sucked the very life out of the project…at least the very few things he agreed to do. His personal priorities shoved the work of the new program aside and as deadlines approached, the entire team was affected. It was all about him.
In a late night email, she reached out to me well after I was sound asleep. In a brief moment of early morning clarity, I wrote her back and shared with her the words at the top of this post. “There are those in the world who take and those that give. Givers can never understand the selfish, self- centered, “it’s all about me” way of the takers. Their tactics frustrate us, amaze us and sometimes we may even think they are better or more effective. We should never fall into their trap, for when we do, we lose our self respect.”
She will always have the respect of her colleagues as a Giver. It is that same respect the Taker seeks and never finds.
As a leader, are you a giver or a taker?